Yes, this article is exactly about what you think it is about. If you are a human being with a rectum, please read on.
We tend to optimize only at the edges. We take foundations for granted and rarely challenge them. That’s exactly the point Peter Thiel is making with the US constitution: “after ratifying the Bill of Rights in 1791, we’ve amended the Constitution only 17 times […] Another constitutional convention is unlikely; today we debate only smaller questions”.
Some things are older than states or countries though. And the older and deeper engraved they are, the more taxing it is for our brains to challenge them.
One of these things that we do begrudgingly almost every day is wiping. And I put it to you that we are really not challenging it.
Dishwasher, vacuum cleaner, washing machine… these appliances made our life better: they saved us time on unpleasant things (your mileage might vary, of course).
Time being our most valuable asset. Wasting it on unpleasant endeavours is downright grotesque.
In most of the western world, one action that we do more often than any other, is yet to get its modern replacement: the gruelling toilet paper cleaning ritual. And when I say “we” I mean everyone, whether you’re at the bottom of the food chain, a crypto-millionaire with 5 Autoglyphs or an Elon Musk.
It’s so outrageous that I can barely put my thoughts in order… We clean our butt manually the same way pharaohs would do it with papyrus… This is akin not only to not have a dishwasher for dishes, but also cleaning plates with DRY paper — not a single person would think of it as a reasonable idea.
And yet… Here we are in 2021… Still using these dry rolls, attempting to wipe our popotin, never enjoying the process and with obvious poor results:
- Paper wasted
- Water wasted (more stuff to get rid off)
- Irritation
- Dirty hands and/or underwear
- More water wasted to clean them
- Bad hygiene
- Reducing self-confidence
- Nasty things like haemorrhoids
- Useless for constipation cases
- Overall grimness…
Can you imagine when humans finally settle on Mars and in the planet basecamp you have these toilets with toilet paper? Really?!
I’m still haunted by the images of last year when people were fighting to get the last packs of toilet paper during lockdowns… How dumb can these people be? Clearly that should have been the last thing they worry about if they had a shower at home!
It was the sweet pre-pandemic summer of 2019 and I was staying at a friend’s Airbnb in Palo Alto. In the main bathroom there was this toilet add-on called Smart Bidet. What is it? I’m European so I don’t have to sugarcoat: it’s an adjustable nozzle shooting pressurised jets of water right into your anus.
First reaction of a typical dumb man: “lol what is this? i don’t need it, that’s useless!”.
Then, one day, the aforementioned dumb man tries it… And like driving a Tesla for the first time, after 5 seconds he becomes an evangelist. A smart bidet evangelist.
Wow
